i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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