Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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