did you get engaged???
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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