Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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