By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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