lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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