Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
