was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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