so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
