you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
