I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
