Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
