Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
