i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
