I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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