i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
