PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
