I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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