What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
