I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
