There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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