Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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