Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
