GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
