there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
