sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so explain again why im purple
no
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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