i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you will always have a special place in my vag
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
