Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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