Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
