it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
