On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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