it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
