Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
