How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
