Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
