I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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