I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
