Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
This couple is walking their pig around campus
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
