Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
