after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
