Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
