oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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