Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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