Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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