Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
