I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
