I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
