If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
