This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
