how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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