I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he thought i was a dude.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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