just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
