So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
