singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I need to stop coming to work sober
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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